4 reasons i do not want to put my kids in daycare.

Disclaimer: this is one of those posts that is bound to ruffle a few feathers. Please try to remember that these are just my honest opinions, I am happy to hear yours but only if you do so respectfully. I fully realize that our opinions may or may not collide.

So, do you know those days when, as a mom, you have to dig real deep to find the patience to deal? You know, those days when it seems as if your children have been taken over by the devil himself. There is just not enough coffee (or vodka) in the world for days like those (kidding?).

However,
Those days help us remember what it means to love someone unconditionally--
through the bad, the stinky and the downright impossible.
And, believe it or not, they help to define who we are as mothers-- patient and kind with a dash of psychotic

Days like that are why I do not like the idea of sending my children to daycare.

1. A mother has unconditional love, a teacher does not. I know, I know, there are plenty of wonderful teachers in plenty of wonderful daycares. BUT, and this is a big butt, they do not love your children the way you do. They will not laugh through the tears. They will not find the patience to reassure them and love them when they have a zillion other kids to comfort too. They will give only so much.

2. Teachers don't love your kid as much as you think they do. Funny how every parent who brings their kid to daycare says, "oh, the teachers just love him there, he's quite popular." Guess what? Every single parent thinks so. Now guess what? Most of the parents that think so are wrong.

I use to work in a daycare. I have a heart. I am a good person and an even better mother (I felt the need to preface this with that). I use to say things to the parents like, "oh my gosh, she is just so fun," and the moment that little girl left with her parents, I would nearly fall to the ground with gratitude. Thank heavens she is gone!! And no, I am not a horrible person. In fact, that little girl probably never knew she rubbed me the wrong way. I found my patience and sanity through the chaos, but the days when she was not present, I was much more relaxed and happy. Teachers lie, it's only human-- do you really want them to tell you that they don't really like your kid? Here is what it comes down to for me: I want my child to be with someone who wants to be with them. 

3. Our children are perfect and special in our eyes only. One day I was sitting at the playground when I saw a women staring at a not-so-cute kid. I thought, "why the hell is she so fascinated by that child? He's not doing anything great." It was her kid, of course. She just could not get enough of the nothingness that he was up to. I am the same way with my own children. We think that their farts are spectacular. They can vomit and we could convince ourselves that they have the most floral- smelling and beautiful vomit in the world. But guess what? Your kid's shit stinks. They can be brats. And life with them is not all rainbow and butterflies...but we love them anyway. Most likely, we are the only ones.

4. They are not always doing what you think they are doing. I use to work in the toddler room. I had nine children at a time, usually with an assistant. Our curriculum stated that we needed to paint the letter C using matchbox cars. The kids would dip and roll there cars in paint and drive them along the letter. Sounds fun right? Except try doing that with 9 toddlers at a time. You go into survival mode. The kids are not creatively working with smiles. It is dip, drive, done. NEXT. You move fast, you work hard, you do what needs to be done and nothing more. There is no other way to do it. You must survive.


So now that all the mothers who send there children to daycare hate me, I just want to say that I understand. I know that not every mother can stay home- I do get it. In fact, I may even put my own children in daycare when my writing career advances and I need some more time to get work done. Your child is most likely not in any danger. You are not causing them harm. But, they certainly are not getting the same patient and unconditional love from their teachers that you would give them. It's a tough world out there. They will get through it cause they are tough. But, only you really know that.

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